What you want materially and what you want spiritually are both important, says John Gray, Ph.D., in How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have. "Wanting more is the nature of our soul, mind, heart, and senses," he says. As an antidote of sorts to the sometimes overly strict books of late that advocate a life of utter simplicity, he concedes that it's okay to want a big promotion or fancy car. It's also noble to want a solid spiritual life and to want to be at peace with yourself. However, he says, you need to recognize and work on the many self-defeating behaviors that may be thwarting your chances for reaching your goals. In fact, he identifies 24 typical stumbling blocks to look for.

How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have is perfect for the ostensibly successful businesspeople who can't explain why they're miserable, or people who blame their partners for their miseries instead of looking inward. It's filled with anecdotes and tools to help you achieve a fuller sense of identity. Gray says that one of the most important steps to reaching this level of self-awareness is meditation, and Gray gives dozens of stepping-off points for meditation exercises to help you ascertain what exactly it is that you want, and how to remove any obstacles--whether external or internal. Take it from a man who used to be so ascetic that he was rendered homeless but now has achieved a strong sense of self and has managed to write nine bestselling books: both spiritual and material success are within your grasp.